It was the first time I ever swallowed one and had no regrets.

To think I could’ve crashed the party without any sight of you. 

There it was:

Framed by the window panes in your apartment, 

exactly what I had dreaded would happen. 

In the hands of another girl, 

I didn’t mind.

It was the horror I’d face 

Face to face 

That I could never consider. 

I snuck by with no surprise 

With friends who always stuck by my side,

Spilling my blushed cheeks

Onto those that I thought knew me better -

Better than I know myself. 

The unexpected carried the burden,

A friend of a friend. 

It was different; feeling one with the earth.

The leaves felt more alive than the actual life I was living in. 

The leaves still change.

Sometimes I wonder if I ever do too.